Fresh Air, Fresh Perspective
with a dollop of gratitude
Valentine’s Day is one of those mid-level holidays that often falls short of expectations. For starters, no one gets the day off (unless it just happens to fall on your regular day off), the price of roses and other flowers doubles, and if you need a last-minute dinner reservation, you are out of luck. Even with a reservation, you will likely have a longer-than-usual wait among a crush of couples standing near the door of the restaurant wearing the one article of red clothing they own but rarely wear.
Probably the hardest thing, however, is if you aren’t in a particularly loving relationship when February 14th rolls around, because it can feel like you are the only one on the planet without a true Valentine. If you are an adult, you have likely experienced this isolated feeling at least a few times in your life. Even if you do have a significant other or are surrounded by friends and family, there’s no guarantee that the day will feel magical. After all, arguments, emergencies, the flu, and bad weather are at least as apt to happen on V-day as any other, and world events don’t push the pause button while you stop by Walgreens to pick up a card with a heart on it.
So, against this backdrop and with the disclaimer that, like most of us, plenty of my Valentine’s Days over the years have not looked like the stuff of Disney movies, I can report that Bill and I actually had a lovely Valentine's Weekend together this year. President’s Day, being this past Monday and a bank holiday, allowed us to arrange a brief off-season trip to spend some time together at the beach. While it was too cold to get in the water, we bundled up and enjoyed a couple of very nice strolls on the sand (or better yet, on a boardwalk at a state park!) as we watched squadrons of pelicans fishing in formation and had some delicious dinners that included fresh seafood.
One memory in particular that I will continue to cherish was watching dozens of dolphins frolic in the sparkling waves on Saturday afternoon. I don’t think we’d ever seen so many wild dolphins in one place! I’ve learned that I’m not capable of capturing such fleeting moments on my phone’s camera, as by the time I manage to click the button, it’s always too late, so I didn’t even try. I just stayed in the moment while taking in the amazing view, the sound of the waves, the refreshing sea air, and the enduring love of my husband. So I’m feeling incredibly grateful as I write these words today.
One of my best-received Substack posts ever was a Valentine's Day reflection about my late mother. I wrote it two years ago, as both a tribute and a cautionary tale. In case you missed it at the time and are interested, I’ll post the link below. There’s no one on the planet I’ve ever loved or admired more than my mom, yet there were times when she lost her bearings, even as she worked so diligently to be resilient and do all that society expected of her.
Mom left this Earth over a decade ago, and I still miss her every single day. I remain profoundly grateful for the time we had together.
The holidays didn’t end with the long weekend. Today, many of my English students are celebrating the Lunar New Year or the first day of Ramadan tomorrow. Carnival is in full swing in Brazil, as is Mardi Gras here in New Orleans and other nearby costal towns. Tomorrow is also Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the season of Lent for liturgical Christians. I used to observe this rather somber season quite… religiously, I guess would be the way to say it. I decided on a Lenten sacrifice each year and tried to be mindful in my observance for the full six weeks. When I served as a church music director, I also collaborated with other staff and worship committee members to craft meaningful mid-week and Holy Week services leading up to Easter. This year, however, I’ve been focused on other things, and journaling might be the extent of my Lenten practice for 2026.
February 19th marks a dark day in our country’s history: This Thursday will be a Day of Remembrance of President Roosevelt’s order to forceably relocate and incarcerate over 120,000 Japanese Americans during WWII.
Alongside recent events, there’s no shortage of things to reflect on. Last weekend, I had sketched out some ideas about gratitude and the importance of not losing sight of the good, in and amongst all the bad. I thought I might try to expand and shape those thoughts into this week’s More Tortoise, Less Hare Tuesday offering, but my ideas weren’t particularly original. I’ve written on similar themes here before, and although I do think it’s good to be reminded of what we already know sometimes, I didn’t want to post anything tired or trite, so I considered just reposting my popular 2024 tribute to mom with a brief explanation and leaving it at that for this week.
Then I read Nadia Bolz-Weber’s newsletter in anticipation of Lent, and it was as if Pastor Nadia had found my sketchy and unoriginal little notes and breathed new life into them, skillfully placing my musings into the context of the coming liturgical season and transforming them into something fresh and relevant to all of us, offering her oh-so-relatable thoughts in an open and welcoming rather than exclusionary way, so that you need not be a religious person at all to benefit from what she shares about her lived experience or indeed to participate in the practical and uplifting practice she invites all of us to join her in for the next 40 days (excluding Sundays, for any sticklers out there).
For the record, you don’t even need to be cranky, but if the shoe fits…
For me, Nadia’s words were just what the doctor ordered for this transition from a lovely long weekend with Bill to the coming holy season in what too often feels like unholy times, as we slowly tortoise our way forward.
I may have a few further observations to share on this topic in the weeks ahead, which will likely be less seasonal or religious in nature. But for now, it feels right to simply leave you with the two essays above as belated little Valentine gifts and let you choose whether to unwrap either or both. I will also add that, in addition to the common places Nadia mentions where you might post your daily Lenten practice this year, if you wish (Instagram, Facebook, Substack Notes, a group chat…), another option is to post them in our MTLH subscriber chat, where it’s easy to post photos (unlike in the comments).
If you are curious but don’t want to click through to her essay, here’s the tl;dr of Nadia’s instructions for tomorrow through April 5th, so you can still participate, if you like:
Take one photo of something beautiful I notice in my day—like how the light comes through our front room in the afternoon, or
Write one sentence about a warm interaction with a stranger—like the guy in the hospital elevator who asked which floor I was going to and pushed the button for me, or
Post something helpful someone said to me that day—like the six-word prayer my friend Jackie just shared: I can’t. You can. Please do.
Whether you post any of these things or not, and no matter what kind of Valentine’s Day you had this year, I do encourage all of us to keep noticing the good. You don’t have to abandon your work or pretend things are better than they are, but it’s worth being reminded that even terrible and overwhelming things are never the only things. If you’d rather not post publicly, this would also make a nice journaling exercise, whether or not you do it every single day.
Finally, I’ll underscore one other directive from Nadia: Remember that these are to be things you actually experience firsthand, rather than things you read about online. I urge you to read Nadia’s whole excellent piece for a fuller exposition.
If you have in mind a different Lenten practice or plan for the days ahead that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
